Hating Myself and it’s Stupid

Johanna Baynard
2 min readMar 7, 2023

Stop hating on yourself! Ugh. So much of my life was about being beautiful, being attractive, being pretty. It is hard to believe that I am not now that…

I was never able to explain to my husband that it was okay to not be “hot”, because God knows I was tired of being hot.

Being Attractive can be it’s Own Hell

I was constantly harassed, called, followed, received lewd comments and always the proposition. Are you kidding me? It was always an issue. I’ve even had my share of stalkers, yes.

I wanted it all out of my life. Do I really have to listen to people drone on and on about how they are hung up on me?

No.

I don’t. Really I don’t.

So here I am hating myself because I have gained 30 pounds which makes me less than attractive. It’s what I wanted. I wanted people to stop hitting on me and pushing me to have sex with “them”.

“Long Ago Woman” JB Collection

I’ve gotten old, of course, now 64. That (and being married) helps to stop people pressing me for “more” out of the relationship. The most effective “stop” sign is my weight. Adding 30 pounds has turned off any chance of having admirers. Even hubby isn’t sure (of course, he loves me).

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Johanna Baynard
Johanna Baynard

Written by Johanna Baynard

Dedicated activist for economic equality. Baby Boomer. Wife, mother and blogger: Life According to Johanna, johannayorksr.com and themammablog.com

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